Existing Immortal
by Siren of the Moon
Summary: My name is Chihiro Ogino and I am immortal. For eight long and boring years, I have not lived but existed. I've tried every method of dying I can think of but no matter what, I survive. This is my story about how my immortality is proved to be a gift instead of a wretched curse that I have been plagued with... Please, follow me on my journey of immortality.
1. Prologue

**- Prologue -**

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"**Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid." – John Wayne**

* * *

My name is Chihiro Ogino and I have been cursed with immortality.

I cannot die no matter what I do. I've been shot through the heart, jumped off skyscrapers, overdosed on pills, trampled on by a herd of horses… Yet, I am not dead. It's not possible for me to die permanently. I die for about five minutes before something drags me back to reality. It's kind of like dozing off for a few minutes before you're shaken awake again. It's irritating and I hate it.

You're probably thinking something along the lines of: 'You're fucking immortal! You can't die and you should be happy about that. You can live longer than anyone else so why the bloody hell are you complaining?'

Let me set one thing straight here for all you mortals out there. I'm not living. I'm existing. They're two different things entirely. You're also horribly aware of everything around you and Time is one hell of a bitch to put up with. Time is like a rude neighbour knocking on your door, hurling abuse at you the minute you appear in their vision. It makes itself noticed when you're immortal. You're aware of every fucking minute of every sodding day. It's even worse when they're 'slow' days. All I hear is the tick tock of the clock or my watch.

Of course, I wasn't always immortal. Actually, up until eight years ago, I was a whiney, boring, rude little bitch of a human girl who thought that moving house was the worst thing in the world. I, obviously, have been proved wrong. I discovered a different world full of spirits and fantasy beings that only exist in Japanese legends and mythology books. I also discovered magic, twin witches with heads the size of an elephant's ear and a bath house for spirits. It was there that I changed into the person I am now. An immortal person that doesn't live but only exists.

I never forgot that place or the people in it. I never forgot my co-workers in the bath house or my employer. I never forgot the monster that swallowed three workers or the gigantic baby who threatened to cry if you didn't play with him. I didn't forget the witch who made my purple hair tie and I certainly didn't forget the dragon whose name I restored.

It was magic that turned me immortal. You see, after visiting somewhere like that and returning to a world that is its opposite, the magic clings to you and tries to restore itself into the world. However, magic needs a host or it cannot be controlled or used. I was the magic's host and it is through magic that I cannot die. How do know this? I don't. It's just a theory. But it's a good one, no?

I don't know whether I want to return to that magical land and see everyone again. Actually, I've been cursing them all and their magical voodoo for making me what I am. There's a part of me that says that I should hate them and never go back but there's an even larger part that's forcing me to walk to that shit-looking red tunnel and return. That's the part that's brought me to where I am now, about to take the first step into the darkness and walk to the other side… So, do you care to join me?**  
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	2. Complaints

- Chapter 1 -

- Complaints -

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**"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." - Mae West**

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You're still here? Well, thanks, I guess. I'm going to need all the support I can get if I'm returning to this place.

The wind is cold as it tugs at my clothes. It almost seems to be urging me onwards which almost tempts me to be a rebel and run all the way back to the house I live in with my parents who have given up trying to force me to go to university. I don't age, people! I'm immortal! I can go to university whenever the hell I want to! Tsch… Jerks.

I let out a sigh, shove my hands in the pocket of my jeans and rock back and forth on my heels. What should I do? What should I do? Choices, choices… I could go back to my hellish life of immortality, throwing myself of skyscrapers and jumping in front of trains, trying to die or…

I stare hard at the dark tunnel in front of me, several strands of my brown hair brushing my face as the wind picks up again, stronger this time. I get the message and slowly lift my foot from the muddy ground and place it on the grey concrete of the tunnel. Now that I've taken the first step, there's no turning back.

There was always something about this dark tunnel that gave me the creeps. I don't know whether it's the darkness or the fact that all I can hear are my own footsteps as the sound bounces off the walls. What do you think? The darkness or the sound? Maybe both? Or am I just being paranoid?

As I reach the end of the tunnel, I'm almost blinded by the slowly setting sun that shines through the small windows of the stone room I've reached. It reminds me of a train station platform but it appears unused and it's pretty damn dirty. Haven't they heard of cleaners in the spirit world? No? Damn. This place could be really nice if it was clean.

It's a weird feeling, you know? Stepping onto a large meadow that'll soon become a large sea, I mean. Oh, and don't forget the bright looking boat! It's like a large firefly that's floating on water. Strange simile, I know. Don't like how I'm telling you all this? Go home then, bitches. This is my tale and I'll tell it however I bloody want to.

I walk slowly, the wind feeling considerably warmer on this side of the tunnel. I wish I'd brought my sunglasses. I can barely see a thing due to the sun. Stupid sun. The abandoned town also seems further than it was eight years ago. Stupid town.

I'm quite the complainer, aren't I? I think I do it on purpose, just to annoy people. I purposely find things to complain about or criticize. I could complain about you if I wanted to. But I won't. I can put up with you for the moment. Count yourself lucky. There are not a lot of people I can tolerate. Usually because they whine about their lives. Heh. I'm immortal. I don't have one life to complain about. I can only whinge about things like politics and not being able to die…

I just reach another statue in the meadow when I realise that it's quite a bit darker than it was and my feet feel very cold and wet. Ah, shit. I look down to see that water is filling the meadow and that I'm about to go for an impromptu swim. Fuck my immortal life. I hate swimming and it seems that there's nothing I can do to avoid a swim. I keep walking but the further I walk, the higher the water is and my clothes are becoming soaked. Fan-fucking-tastic. As if immortality wasn't enough, I'll just get wet by a magically appearing sea in an alternate world!

By the time I reach the edge of the town, my clothes are drenched and heavy on my body and I'm absolutely freezing. I curse my luck and clamber out onto the stone bank and lie on the edge for a few minutes, my eyes focused on the dark sky above. I don't want to move and wish I could die. Trust me. If any of you ever become immortal, the only thing you'd want to do is die. It would help remind you that you are, as a matter of fact, a normal human. Tsch… Stupid immortality.

I get up, leaving a wet outline of my body and carry on into the town, ignoring the wandering spirits and the smell of delicious food that is hitting my nostrils. Oh, that reminds me.

I glance down at my hands, expecting to see myself beginning to fade but I'm not. I'm still solid and I can't see the floor through my wet hands. Huh, that's weird. I turn around, just to be sure. Now, why did I disappear the first time and not the second time? I have already come up with several theories already but I won't bore you with them. At the moment, you're good company. I don't want to scare you off.

I leave wet footprints and splatters of water on the concrete as I walk to the large building that towers above the restaurants and shops. The bath house. I used to work there, you know. It was a pain in the arse, having to wake up at night and sleep during the day but on the whole, it wasn't too bad. To be honest, I didn't have much of a choice if I wanted to work there or not. It was either work there or get turned into a pig. Hmm… Which one would you choose?

Spirits are already filing into the establishment as I approach the bridge, still dripping and cold. No one seems to notice me, which is odd. I would've thought someone would've complained about my 'human stench', don't you think? I slowly step onto the bridge. Do I have to hold my breath like I did last time? No? Good. I look like a fucking moron when I'm holding my breath. Although, I'm immortal. I can't die from lack of oxygen anymore. Hehe. Did you know that I can hold my breath for a full half an hour before my lungs start to hurt? Can you? No, probably not. You see, that's the difference between me and you. I'm immortal, you're not. Ha.

I take another step before I gasp, taking two steps back and ending up at the start of the bridge again. I blink in surprise before my eyes narrow at the sprit standing right in front of me.

"Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi," Jeez, his name is a mouthful. "It's been a while,"


	3. Awkwardness

- Chapter 2 -

- Awkwardness -

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**"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." - George Bernard Shaw.**

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If there is a feeling that always lingers in the background when you're in the presence of others, it's awkwardness. It's always there, even if you can't feel it. I like to think that it hovers around in the air waiting for the moment to jump into the conversation and overtake it, taking full command and smothering the other feelings and emotions that had once dominated the air. Yes, that's how it works. Or at least, that's my opinion. You don't have to agree with me.

Anyway, my point is that from the moment we clapped eyes on each other, awkwardness fell between Haku and I like a lead brick. It was almost suffocating… Almost.

"What are you doing here?"

What the fuck? No, 'hi, how are things?' Bastard.

"Impromptu holiday," I decided to say, my voice a drawl as I sent him a smirk. "Human life can get ever so boring,"

He seems unhappy at my reply and I can see his jaw clench in anger that sends a pang of satisfaction through my body. I never liked giving people a straight answer. Being vague and bitchy is so much more fun.

"You shouldn't be here,"

I sigh and roll my eyes. "You said that the last time. I was here for a week,"

He says nothing and I turn my head away, droplets of water still dripping from my clothes. The cold is finally starting to seep in through my skin. If I don't warm up soon, I'll definitely get a cold. A sneeze seems to prove my point and snaps Haku out of his silence. His hand takes my arm, his long fingers curling around it as he pulls me along.

"You'd better warm up. I've got a few errands to run but I'll be back later. You will wait in my chambers and not move from there until our chat has finished and we come to a decision on what to do with you,"

I smirk, wanting to aggravate him. "And if I don't comply with your orders?"

He stops abruptly, spinning round and fixing me with a glare. "I will send you back to the human world without a second thought. River or no river,"

* * *

Later that night, Haku found me curled up on the leather sofa in his office, nursing a mug of steaming green tea in my hands and dressed in dry clothes. I'd also been provided with a thick, heavy blanket that was draped around my shoulders. I was a lot warmer than I had been, having spent a good few hours drying myself by the fire in the hearth.

"You listened to me then?" he questioned as he came in through the door. I didn't look up or reply as I took another sip of my tea.

I heard him sigh and he sat down in the armchair to my right, his eyes focusing on me. It was only then that I glanced up, taking in his appearance properly for the first time.

He looked older, the remnants of his youth fading from the angular features of his face. His hair was a forest green but had a sheen of black that appeared each time the light bounced off the strands. It was neatly trimmed around his face. His eyes were the same emerald green I remembered, the feature I always managed to see clearly in my memories, even if everything else was just a foggy haze. He was taller and more muscular too but not overly so. All in all, I supposed he could be classed as very attractive.

"You look younger than I anticipated," he said finally as I dropped my eyes to my tea.

I said nothing again, one of my fingers tracing the rim of the china teacup in my hands. I stopped aging at the age of eighteen, immortality preserving my youth. It sucked to know that I would never age or die. After all, every life has to end. Why should I be an exception to this fact? Bloody damn immortality.

"Why are you here?"

I lifted my head, my mouth curling into a smirk. Finally, he had asked the question I was waiting for.

"I told you. I'm taking an impromptu holiday,"

"And I don't believe you," he snapped, his eyes hardening to a glare when I didn't give him a straight answer. "It's common for humans to reach the Spirit World once but twice? That's unheard of,"

I snorted. An immortal human is unheard of too, you prat but here I am in flesh and bone. Go fucking figure that one out.

"Maybe I'm just special,"

Okay, that might have been a little egotistical to say. I wasn't special. I was bloody cursed.

"I've noticed that you don't smell human either. Usually, the stench suffocates us. Well, from an adult anyway. It wasn't too bad when you were child. Now, you don't smell of anything,"

My lips quirked upwards briefly. "I'll take that as a compliment,"

He sighed, letting his head fall into his hands. "Why are you so infuriating?"

Infuriating? That wasn't a new one. I have a bad tendency to annoy or piss off people within a ten mile radius by just opening my mouth. I'm surprised that you're still here to be honest. Haven't I insulted you yet? No comments on your minds or the way you talk? No? Oh… Well, good. I'll try and keep it that way but feel free to say if I'm being rude. I might not listen but it's worth a shot.

I set my tea down on the coffee table in front of me and stretched, the blanket falling from around my shoulders. "So, what's the verdict? Do I have your permission to stay? After all, I wouldn't want to cut my holiday short,"

"You can stay but you can also work. I'll send someone to fetch Lin. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you again,"

That made me pause. What about him? Had he missed me or was I merely an annoyance? I opened my mouth to voice my thoughts but then closed it again. Don't be daft, Chihiro. As if you care what he thinks about you. After all, you have the rest of eternity to find out what he thinks. It doesn't fucking matter now.

* * *

It was easy to forget how hard you had to work to get the tubs clean and please the guests. Within an hour of being handed a uniform and beginning work, I was starting to sweat. It was damn annoying, especially since there wasn't a chance to sit down as you rushed about grabbing buckets of water and scrubbing brushes. I certainly didn't miss this.

Clouds of steam created foggy hazes in and around the corridors and it was thick and heavy, almost suffocating. I wasn't too bothered by it but I could see it affecting a few of the younger workers, particularly the children. They would pant heavily as they lugged various cleaning items around the bath house, straining against the constant heat. I might be a bitch but I did have a soft spot towards children.

I passed a young boy as I went to refill my bucket and I paused, watching him for a few moments as he tried to haul a heavy bucket of water back to a tub that he was probably cleaning. His hair was sticking to the sides of his face that was slick with sweat and his clothes had dark patches on them from sweating. I ditched my bucket and moved over to him, lifting his with relative ease.

He gasped in relief, his shoulders sagging for a moment before he suddenly straightened and turned to me with wide eyes. "Who are you?"

"Sen," I responded. "Where's your tub?"

He seemed startled by my question but quickly scurried ahead of me, leading the way. I followed at a rather relaxed pace, the water sloshing in the bucket in my hand. He was cleaning the third tub from the entrance and the sides were thick with grime. However, I didn't fail to notice that he had already managed to clean half of the bath already.

I placed the bucket inside it and dusted my hands off before placing them on my hips. "There you go,"

He landed rather clumsily inside the tub but quickly stood up and bowed at the waist. "T-thank you,"

"No problem…" I paused, realising that I hadn't even asked for his own name. Idiot. "What's your name?"

"Tadao," he responded, easing out of his bow and picking up his scrubbing brush.

"Well, Tadao," I began, feeling my lips pull back into a wide grin. "If you ever need a hand, come find me,"

With that I turned on my heel and left him alone to scrub the bath but I could feel his wide, deer-caught-in-headlights eyes on my back as I collected my bucket and returned to my previous goal. I felt rather proud of myself. It wasn't often that my heart went out to people and helping them was a rarity. Perhaps the Spirit World would change me…

I snorted. No way in hell.


End file.
